Vulnerabilty...aaaggghhhh!

I preface my posting with this: I am writing this from a position of vulnerability. I hate being vulnerable. And this is not easy for me. With that said, according to Brene Brown, that means I do not feel worthy of love and belonging…which may have a hint of truth to it…all things considered.

Brene Brown gave me much to think about. I have watched her Vulnerability talk several times now, and each time I find myself relaxing a little more, letting down the wall of “don’t go there!” I appreciated her description of pushing back on vulnerability rather than giving into it. It’s difficult to give in into vulnerability when you’ve fought to not be, not show vulnerability.

I have given this “vulnerability” thing a great deal of thought. Initially, I was going to simply submit “something…anything.” Then, in conversations with colleagues (Carla and Jannis) I began to chew on, mull-over, and wrestle with vulnerability. Taking into consideration Brene Brown’s talk on the topic, I have written, revised, edited, deleted, rewritten my thoughts on vulnerability…and this is what I have to say on the issue regarding my personal leadership skills.

For the past nine years, I have worked in one position or another of leadership-from facilitator/admin designee to BTSA & PAR district lead, to Homeless Liaison. Each position had me working with vulnerable populations.

Teachers are a vulnerable lot…well…at least the passionate ones. When a teacher is comfortable enough to share ideas, excitement of what they are teaching or how wonderful/funny/goofy their students are, that is vulnerability.

BTSA &PAR teachers are vulnerable as they are constantly being observed either formally or informally, which can cause anxiety. And homeless families…need I say more?

What I have come to understand is that in order for me to work effectively with each of these populations, I have had to build a sense of trust and a place where they feel safe enough to be honest and vulnerable. I too, have had to be vulnerable with them. Without realizing it, I have created safe havens for individuals to be vulnerable, knowing that what they share with me is not shared with others.

Leaders need to have a degree of vulnerability with their peers to build a sense of trust. In doing so, the exchange of ideas, thoughts, conflicting opinions can be discussed and addressed without fear of repercussion or shame. Building a community safe for the expression of vulnerability is the responsibility of the leader, who beings with modeling vulnerability first.

Community of Practice-CoP-initially when I read the term, I thought it was an updated version of the PLC-professional learning community, and I was skeptical. However, while listening to Underhill and Wenger, I began to see the CoPs in which I participate.

Teachers have a way of organizing their professional social worlds in formal and informal manners. I have shared and received some of the best ideas I have implemented while talking in the hallway, chatting at the copy machine, discussing lessons over lunch, and in more formal structures such as collaborative meetings. Wengar said the CoPs, “establish on-going relationships among people who have potential of helping each other when needed---a ready set of people to turn to.”

My immediate CoPs have a habit of changing, depending on the department in which I am working. However, having connections with multiple CoPs has enabled me to combine the resources from the different groups and help me in my capacity as Teacher Coach or Administrative Designee or Local Education Agent or teacher.

My future with technology-I am fascinated to see where I can and will go with it. At the beginning of the Joint Doctoral Program, I was not looking forward to diving into all the technology we told we would learn about/access.  Though I approach technology with apprehension, I am looking forward to learning more about what is to be found and utilized.

Recently I signed up with Edmodo. On Edmodo, educators share ideas, lessons, teaching practices with each other; teachers communicate with one another in their own school district and across the state; teachers can set up their class so students have access to materials. It is just one example of the resources available and it is powerful. Little by little, I am becoming less afraid of that which is foreign to me and actually enjoying the exploration.

LinkedIn, twitter, blogging, I am not all that comfortable with, however, given time it is definitely possible...and likely.

Haikus for Dr. S.---

   Learning
Educational
Leadership stretches my mind
I am growing strong

    (Heavy Sigh)
Swirling thoughts words
Trying to make sense of all
Needing more sleep time

Reflections on Dr. David White's video, 'Visitors and Residents'.

Dr. White has certainly given me much to ponder. I've always felt like a digital-techno imigrant having grownup with computers the size of a small room rather than being able to sit on my lap. Dr. White's video presents a perspective of social media I'd not considered, and until beginning this doctoral program, the thought or necessity to participate in social media to any degree other than Facebook to find out what's going on with my family was never even a consideration, much less a thought to ponder.

Before beginning this program, I identify myself as a social media Visitor, looking information up on-line, making use of google, finding useful subject matter articles or instrucitonal formats to assist in supporting teacherings in their continuation of improving their best teaching practices. Though I am still a Visitor to social networking, I now see how I will become a sometime-Resident as well. Living my entire life out in front of the world doesn't appeal to me, but communicating with colleagues in professional conversations and interactions then moving into personal conversations as we continue through our program is simply the nature of evolving.

I understand the attraction of social media to those who are residents, as well as the resources social media has to offer the learner. With the advent of the internet and creation of social media, the world has gotten smaller and the amount of information literally at our finger tips is mind-boggling, to say the least. Information is there for the taking, one only has to seek it.

I never dreamed I'd have the desire nor understanding of the value of becoming a social media Resident. I am looking forward to seeing where all this leads me.